Don’t Wait Just Tell Us
Cryptic comedian Paula Poundstone returns to Houston
By Nancy Ford
There’s no arguing the fact that gays and lesbians—mostly lesbians—have bolstered Paula Poundstone’s stand-up comedy career for decades. Her devotion to a single adoptive motherhood (three kids, eleven cats) led most fans to reasonably believe that Poundstone herself is likely a lesbian.
Not true. Though she doesn’t actually use the word “asexual,” there’s little point denying that that’s exactly how the comedy diva classifies her sexuality—at least for now.
“I don’t date. I don’t have sex,” the comic told Go Magazine’s Dasha Snyder in a 2008 interview. “I don’t know what I am and I don’t much care. I used to think there was something horribly wrong with me that I wasn’t interested in sex or partnering or anything. I must be the oddest bird in the water. And finally, I don’t know how old I was when I figured it out, that it was like the greatest blessing of a lifetime! I don’t have an extra minute of the day to pursue anything. I figure when my kids are functioning adults, by golly [laughing] I’m go to go looking for love. Until then—I’m so not like the rest of the world, which I used to think was this real sad, bad thing. I used to say that my insides must have looked like a Warner Bros. cartoon background: I could just picture the electrical outlet with a cord laying just near it, not plugged in. And I thought if I had surgery I could be, you know, ignited. Now, I’m perfectly happy just how I am.”
Still, she doesn’t say what kind of love—gay or straight—she’ll pursue when the kids are grown. C’mon, Paula. Let your bird spread its wings and swim.
A regular panelist on National Public Radio’s Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me and a national spokesperson for the Association of Library Trustees Advocates Friends & Foundations, Poundstone returns to Houston for a performance benefiting Friends of the Houston Public Library on August 27 at 8 p.m. Alley Theatre, 615 Texas Ave. • alleytheatre.org • 713/220-5700. More: paulapoundstone.com.